So there’s a Terminator reboot planned for summer release 2015. The film will feature Arnie himself, which could prove to be an interesting challenge given that his firmware is now getting a little dated. With all the Star Trek reboots and new Star Wars films I got to thinking about plot, especially if a certain director was involved. Here’s my slightly tongue-in-cheek suggestion . . .
Directed by JJ Abrams. Lots of lens flares, obviously.
In the future, a Resistance squad attacks a Skynet R&D installation where a ‘singularity bomb’ is being developed. A friendly reprogrammed Terminator unit (played by Arnie) is accompanying the Resistance squad. When asked which gun he wants to use, the friendly Terminator slides a sideways glance to camera, before he says: ‘Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range’.
With the help of the friendly Terminator unit, the Resistance squad attacks and then captures the installation, but they are subsequently pinned down during a counter-attack by enemy Skynet forces. The friendly Terminator unit voices concern about how the bomb could be used and urges that it be dismantled. One of the Resistance squad members (played by Benedict Cumberbatch [spoilers!]) takes the bomb and screams ‘This is for Skynet!’ before setting it off.
The bomb creates a temporal rift that sends the friendly Terminator unit back to 1984, moments before it first appeared in the original film. The original Terminator unit then subsequently appears (this time played by Zachary Quinto [more spoilers!] — he might need to bulk up for this role). Head shots only, they’re both still naked. Older Terminator Prime advises Young Terminator that he should now be helping Sarah Connor instead of killing her, which he accepts. The two of them set off together to find some clothing. They end up in a fight with the same bikers from the original movie. Once clothed, Terminator Prime finds a pair of sunglasses in a pocket. He hands these over to Young Terminator, explaining that he can’t do anything without risking a temporal paradox. He tells Young Terminator to find Sarah Connor and ensure that she meets a member of the Resistance from the future called Kyle Reese. Terminator Prime goes to sit on one of the punk’s bikes. Young Terminator asks him if he’ll be back. Terminator Prime just smiles, guns his bike and rides off into the distance.
Cut scene to the alleyway again, some time later. The air crackles and a naked figure appears crouching in the alleyway. A gunshot rings out and the figure drops to the floor. Another figure walks out of the shadows and, without revealing his face, shoots the prone figure a second time before kicking the body and checking its pulse. Graffiti on the wall behind them reads: ‘Rule #2: Double tap!’ The unknown assailant then walks off into the darkness without revealing his identify.
Meanwhile, Young Terminator has been looking for Sarah Connor (played by Alice Eve). He tracks her down to her apartment where’s we see a glimpse of her getting undressed. He lets himself inside, spots a familiar-looking pair of bra and knickers on the floor and raises an eyebrow. Sarah Connor then appears, fully clothed and runs away. A chase ensues. Young Terminator eventually corners her and tries to explain the situation. She doesn’t believe him so he tears back some of the skin on his arm to reveal that he’s a robot. She screams and runs away.
She ends up in a bar — the same bar where the original Terminator tracked her down in the original first movie. She orders a drink and the barman asks if she’s OK. She tells him that he wouldn’t believe her if she told him. A voice says ‘Why don’t you try me?’ There, right next to her, is the crazy Resistance solider (played by Benedict Cumberbatch) from the future — he was obviously pulled back in time in the same temporal rift that brought back Terminator Prime. They flirt a little, he says he’s from the future, she tells him that’s an old line that she’s heard before. They get drunk, some guy in the bar takes a Polaroid photo of them together, and they end up having sex in a toilet cubicle. She immediately regrets her actions and leaves to go home. He follows her to an alleyway and tells her she isn’t going anywhere, pulling a gun from his pocket. It should now be obvious that he’s the unidentified killer who shot Kyle Reese near the beginning, but to reinforce this, he tells her anyway. She says she doesn’t understand. He tells her it doesn’t matter and that she must now die. All this time she has been backing away from him and her hands now close around a tire iron which she swings at his head, busting open his skull. He collapses, dropping the gun, but then he starts to sit back up so she grabs the gun from the floor and shoots him. He keeps coming, she empties all of the bullets from the gun into him with no effect. Tentacles now sprout from his body and he reveals himself to be Ultimate Terminator, a biological machine grown in a vat by Skynet in the future.
Just at that moment, Young Terminator appears. Young Terminator and Ultimate Terminator fight, smashing through walls, picking up cars. Ultimate Terminator keeps regenerating, but Young Terminator is eventually incapacitated with both legs and one of his arms removed. Ultimate Terminator is about to make a final grab for Sarah when a single shot rings out, blowing away part of his head. Terminator Prime is standing there with the same lever-action shotgun that he used in Terminator 2. He keeps shooting, doing the twiddly thing with his gun, blasting away chunks of Ultimate Terminator’s mutated body. Then he swaggers over, stands over Ultimate Terminator and says: ‘ You’re terminated, fucker!’ before shooting him one last time. He then tips a cannister of gasoline over the body, walks back to his bike, clambers on and takes a zippo lighter out of his pocket. Over his shoulder he says, ‘Hasta la vista.’ Then then lights the zippo with the flick of his thumb and tosses it back to the body of Ultimate Terminator which bursts into flames. He rides off.
Sarah Connor stands up and goes over to the Young Terminator now lying in pieces across the ground. She thanks him and his eyes fade out. She stands and is about to walk away when she turns back and sets about collecting all the pieces which she throws into the back of a nearby jeep. She hot-wires the jeep and drives off.
Some months later, she is driving the jeep along a long road through a desert. She pulls up at a gas station, the attendant comes out and looks to the sky, saying, ‘There’s a storm coming.’ Sarah gets out of the jeep and it’s now obvious that she’s heavily pregnant. The audience should realise that this must be the progeny of Sarah and Ultimate Terminator, but to reinforce the point she takes out a photo from her pocket, the photo of her and the Resistance solider before he became Ultimate Terminator. She chews her lip.
Fade to black.